


Youngblood

by Wilson66



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Family, First Love, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Love, Love/Hate, Post-High School, Pregnancy, Running Away, Secrets, SwoloFic, Time Skips, True Love, Unplanned Pregnancy, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-11 04:53:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15965120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wilson66/pseuds/Wilson66
Summary: As a teen, young love is a certain distraction. Love is a confusing emotion, no matter what your age. The teen years usually brings the first experiences with romantic love but what if the person you love changes their mind?





	1. Youngblood

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hosnianprime](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hosnianprime/gifts).



> For the SWOLO exchange, I was given “Okay, so a hot no is: daddy kink, rape, hard kinks, psychological torture, incest... Hmm it's hard to list it all but you get the idea :joy:” for reylotrashpiler aka Hosnianprime!
> 
> Inspired by the song "Youngblood" by 5 Seconds of Summer, hope you like it!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moodboard created by Bunilicious!

[](https://ibb.co/hhjz8e)

_ Remember the words you told me, love me 'til the day I die _

_ Surrender my everything 'cause you made me believe you're mine _

_ Yeah, you used to call me baby, now you calling me by name _

_ Takes one to know one, yeah _

_ You beat me at my own damn game _

 

Skin still shining with a thin layer of sweat as their breathing returns to a normal pace, she turns to press her naked body against his own. Face flushed, he can feel her nipples pressing against his chest as he pushes the wisps of sweaty hair away from her face. His heart beating hard enough that he’s afraid that in the stillness of her bedroom she can hear it, terrified at the range of emotions that are attached to its rhythm. The tux and prom dress both lying forgotten on the floor, she gifts him those three special words, her hazel eyes dilated, pale pink lips swollen from being adored by his own. It’s the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. His heart’s ready to burst as euphoria hits him, passion anew, he pulls her towards him, she giggles in his ear as his lips find her’s once again. 

 

They murmur of their plans together to run away to ‘The Big Apple’. Both accepted into two universities in the city, Ben to the Ivy League of Columbia University to become a lawyer and Rey to NYU to become a mechanical engineer. They whisper about the life they will lead away from home, away from Plutt and his cruelty, away from Han and Leia and their rules. They will live and they will love.

 

_ You push and you push and I'm pulling away _

_ Pulling away from you _

_ I give and I give and I give and you take, give and you take _

 

Ben knows something’s wrong as the day of their departure creeps closer, Rey becomes distant, cold. Words he would have never used to describe her in all the years that he’s known her. She pulls away, refuses to spend time with him. Other things are too important, she’s always too busy. Echoes of his parent’s excuses thrown back in his face.

 

Standing at the check-in desk, ticket in hand, he knows for definite that Rey has abandoned him. All his most important possessions packed in his luggage, trying to ignore the burning feeling behind his eyes. He knows it will shatter his heart, but he can’t help but do it anyway, reaching for his phone, his eyes catch the image he saved of Rey smiling sleepily at him the morning after prom a few weeks ago.

 

The call connects and for a second all he can hear is her shallow breaths on the other side of the line, his fingers tighten and he can almost hear his screen begin to shatter in his grip as his heart hurts with every second that passes. 

 

“Rey?” Voice breaking on the word that has come to mean so much to him, those troublesome tears managing to escape. “Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it, we can do anything together.”

 

He hears her anguished sob, the sound fracturing his heart. “Baby, please…”

 

“Get on the plane, Ben.” The strength in her voice hurts him as he yearns to understand, blindly searching for her in the crowd, the mass of people living there lives while he seems to be falling apart.

 

“I don’t want you in my life anymore, so go.” The line goes dead, with it, Ben Solo’s heart. Straightening his shoulders, he wipes away those traitorous tears as he turns and hands over his ticket.

  
  


_ Lately our conversations end like it's the last goodbye _

_ Yeah, one of us gets too drunk and calls about a hundred times _

_ So who you been calling baby, nobody could take my place _

_ When you're looking at those strangers, hope to god you see my face _

 

A wounded heart and a battered soul are his companions once he is settled in New York, the dreams he once strived towards were crushed at his feet. He attends classes and makes friends: a giant, beauty of a woman with blonde hair and a tall,  ginger British man with a pale complexion. He tries desperately to forget  _ her _ as he continues on with his life. Professor Snoke takes Ben under his wing, almost able to sense the loneliness and isolation the young man has created for himself and Ben becomes an actor, creating an award-winning performance of a man who is unfeeling and cold.

 

The party around him fuels his actions, drink after drink, he throws them back. Beer, bourbon, spirits, he doesn’t care, the mask he’s perfectly crafted after all these months is beginning to slip. No longer does he feel like the callous Ben Solo that college has moulded him into, he is the broken-hearted Ben, who spent the entire flight to New York biting down on his lip to hold back the cries of heartbreak.

 

His phone is already ringing before he realises what he’s doing, the action of deleting her number was too final for him. No Answer. He calls again and again, as his mind has created a torturous scene that charges his pain to anger.

 

“Who was it, Rey? Huh, some stranger or maybe it was Poe or Finn? Who was it that you decided to replace me with?” He feels the bile rising in his stomach at the thought of someone else living the fantasy he yearned for with the love of his life. “I hope he was worth it because I know you and you’ll never be able to replace me.”

 

_ Youngblood _

_ Say you want me _

_ Say you want me _

_ Out of your life _

 

“I was told I’d find you here.” A wave of nausea hits Ben and it’s got nothing to do with the large amount of alcohol he’s already consumed. Propping himself against the bar, his tall frame leans heavily against the sticky surface as he meets the tired eyes of his father.

 

Guilt rushes over him as his childhood hero joins his side, trying not to notice the obvious signs of ageing that he’s missed with his self-inflicted exile. He notes the stoop of Han Solo’s shoulders, the wrinkles that were not there the last time he had seen him.

 

“Same jacket,” he replies, avoiding each other’s gaze. Ignoring the fact his father orders the same drink as himself, how both of them would rather stare into the bourbon than look at each other.

 

“No, new jacket.” The dark brown leather jacket as iconic to Ben as the man himself, lulling into a tense silence both taking sips of their drinks.

 

“What do you want?”

 

“For you to come home.” Anger rises in Ben’s belly. Gulping down the last remnants of his drink, he waits to catch the bartender's attention for another.

 

“No one was bothered about me when I was there, and what? Now that I have a life, you want me to come back?”  Reaching for his refill, his father's hand snaps forward, gripping his wrist tightly to keep the drink out of reach.

 

Staring into eyes slightly lighter than his own, Ben can’t help but fight against the hold. “This is the life you want? No one in this city gives a damn about you, Ben.”

 

“No one at home did either!” Voice rising in anger, ripping his arm away, he tries to ignore the lull in conversations of the people around them. “You weren’t much of a father when I needed you and I sure as hell don’t need you now.”

 

Sighing, Han finishes his drink, straightening his jacket before he pushes away from the bar. “Kid, I realised too late what’s important in life and I sure as hell hope the same doesn’t happen to you.”

 

He slaps something down onto the sticky bar before turning away, Ben’s eyes flicker over the plane ticket and something else that makes his blood run cold.

 

It’s a sonogram with the name ‘Rey Kenobi’ typed at the bottom.

  
  


_ Youngblood _

_ Say you want me _

_ Say you want me _

_ Back in your life _

 

The entire flight he feels sick, his knee nervously tapping against the seat in front of him, so much that Han must have told him to quit it a thousand times. Why had he not seen it? Caught up in his own self-doubt, he had truly believed that Rey would abandon him. Why had she lied in the first place?

 

Biting his lip, frustration and confusion apparent even to his absent father, Han gently pats his still-shaking leg. “She thought she was doing the right thing, kid.”

 

“By lying to me?” Instantly regretting the bite in his tone, he quickly apologises.

 

“Look, kid, you know better than anyone that Rey’s had a rough time for someone so young, her knee-jerk reaction is to think that when things get rough, people leave.”

 

“I would have never left if I had known.”

 

“I know kid, I know.” Patting his leg, Han turns his attention to the window as they begin the ascent. “Would have helped if you answered our calls these past few months..”

 

They sit in silence, the aircraft bringing Ben closer to his destiny. “Do you think she’ll hate me?” He asks so quietly, he’s not sure if he even meant for his father to hear.

 

“No Ben, I think she loves you too much for that.”

 

Like the prodigal son returning, Ben can’t slow the racing of his heart. Familiar signs of homes becoming more common as they near town. His father's phone rings, a panicked call from his mother seems to turn his blood to ice in his veins. Abandoning all knowledge of the highway code, Han Solo drives like a man possessed.

 

Steps echo as Ben races down the hall, he can hear his father behind him as he blindly sprints forward. Calling her name, he can’t help the panic bubbling within his chest as he throws himself through another set of double doors. Like a lost child, he can’t help the wave of relief he feels as he catches sight of his mother.

 

“Ben,” her normally strong voice broken by a sob as she pulls him into a fierce hug, “You need to go in there and be strong, for the both of you.”

 

Ben Solo had imagined his reuniting with Rey many times in the many months they had been apart, he had imagined how he would be cruel, or indifferent, callous and cold, But all the ill-will he had harboured melted away as soon as he came face to face with her.

 

Lying in the hospital bed, her rounded belly taking up most of her thin frame, looking young and absolutely terrified. Staring at one another, Ben can almost feel time slow, giving him the opportunity to map her beautiful face. Sweat causing her hair to cling to her brow, cheeks red from exertion as tears fall from her hazel coloured eyes. A broken sob of his name falling from those pale, pink lips, he can easily remember how they felt against his own.

 

“I’m sorry,” she cries, her body hit with a round of contractions, causing her to double over in pain. A sob racking her body as she continues to apologise through gritted teeth.

 

“It’s OK,” rushing to her side, he clasps her clammy hand within his own, already his heart beginning to heal just being in her presence, “I’m here now.”

 

“I didn’t want you to have to choose between us and your life.”

 

“Hey,” pressing their joined hands to his lips, he kisses her knuckles gently, “you and this little person here,” one of his hands gently touch her swollen stomach, “are my life.”

 

Another wave of pain hits her and Ben finds his hand locked within her iron grip, the muscles and tendons squeezed tightly across the bones that make up his hand. “I can’t do this on my own, Ben,” she sobs, exhaustion and defeat causing her to sag against the linens.

 

“You’re not alone.” He finds himself sitting behind her, her small hands gripping his as wave after wave of contractions hit. Sweat beads against his forehead as he feels Rey fight to bring their child into this world. Her small body slumping against his own as he whispers words of love and praise in her ear, pushing the wisps of hair from her forehead.

 

Hands clamping down on his, a fresh wave of determination surges through Rey as she braces against him, her body shudders as another cry penetrates the room. Bundled into a blanket, the thick mop of black hair was a copy of his father’s own as it spilled from the swaddle. The young doctor hands him over to his parents, welcoming into the world ‘Baby Boy Kenobi’.

 

"No," Rey cuts her off quickly, her eyes meeting Ben's before continuing, "It's Baby Boy Solo."

 

_ Youngblood _

_ Say you want me _

_ Say you want me _


	2. Solo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As a teen, young love is a certain distraction. Love is a confusing emotion, no matter what your age. The teen years usually brings the first experiences with romantic love but what if life throws a curve ball your way and the only thing you can do is push your love away?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the SWOLO exchange, I was given “Okay, so a hot no is: daddy kink, rape, hard kinks, psychological torture, incest... Hmm it's hard to list it all but you get the idea :joy:” for reylotrashpiler aka Hosnianprime!
> 
> Here is the unplanned second chapter to Youngblood, this chapter is inspired by the song "Solo" by Clean bandit and Demi Lovato and after reading the lyrics I couldn't stop thinking about poor Rey's adventures whilst Ben was suffering in New York.
> 
> Hop on the pain train with me again, hope you like it reylotrashpiler!

 

_ This solo, solo, everybody _

 

She can still hear the sound of the slow song playing via the speakers in the school hall, how her palms had sweated when Ben looked down at her, a question in his eyes as he nodded to the others already making their way over. Guiding her amongst their peers, they swayed to the music.

 

She had never danced before, she had no father to teach her, guide her on his feet when she was a child. Everyone had left, all except Ben.

 

The echo of him worshipping her that night brings shivers to her skin, the night she would remember forever. Devouring kisses against her body, strong arms to hold her together as she fell apart before him.

 

Admitting she loved him at that moment had been easy, staring into his coffee-coloured eyes, his flushed, pale skin dotted with moles and beauty marks. Tracing the tip of his long nose and full lips with the tip of her finger, she had been the happiest she’d ever been in her entire life and she had meant every word.

 

And now she’s sitting on the floor of her room, the positive pregnancy test in hand, sobs racking her body as she hears her foster father stumble towards the kitchen in search of his sixth beer. The plan of college in tatters at her feet with this revelation, her life altered by the decision she has already made.

 

Ben deserves better, Ben deserves the life he planned. So she will stay, she will survive because that’s what Rey can do.

 

Rey Kenobi is a survivor.

 

_ I never meant to leave you hurtin' _

_ I never meant to do the worst thing _

_ Not to you. _

 

She knows it’s wrong, pulling away from him. She makes lame excuses of being too busy or something more important and it breaks her heart. Any doubt Rey feels regarding her decision of pulling back is washed away when Plutt finds the pregnancy test.

 

Vile words are thrown in her direction, her history of her own parents abandoning her, so why would a young man with a bright future stay? To be shackled with a nobody like her?

 

Standing outside the airport, she can see him waiting for her inside. Luggage at his feet, his eyes constantly flickering to the doors, waiting. His gaze has her weighed down with guilt.

 

Phone at his ear, she bites back the whimper when it connects to her own, the photo she had sneakily taken after their night together weeks ago of him sound asleep by her side lit up her screen. Fingers shaking, she swipes to answer, watching his reaction through the glass when she doesn’t speak.

 

“Rey?” His voice breaks and she bites down on her lip hard enough to break skin and taste blood.  “Whatever’s wrong, we can fix it, we can do anything together.”

 

She yearns to believe him, but she knows she won’t be able to handle him choosing to leave. Her controlling the situation, setting him free to reach his destiny is better. A sob escapes her, her heart splintering at the sound of his despair.  “Baby, please…”

 

He needs her to be strong, he needs her to give him the push.

 

“Get on the plane, Ben.” Her voice sounds stronger than she expected, the image of a happy Ben in college fueling her words. Her heart skips a beat as she thinks he realises she’s close in proximity to him, his eyes scanning the crowd for her, a selfish part of herself wanting him to refuse to leave and to demand answers.

 

“I don’t want you in my life anymore, so go.” Her words are a weapon and she witnesses them reach their target.

 

_ 'Cause every time I read your message _

_ I wish I wasn't one of your exes _

_ Now I'm the fool _

 

She regrets her decision instantly, but she learns to wear a mask. A mask of strength and resolve keeps Rey Kenobi moving forward. Her soul mate has gone, the life she had planned is nothing but a fairytale she recites to herself, but she is a survivor and she can live with anything this life throws at her.

 

Plutt kicks her out the day he realises he no longer will get paid for dealing with her presence. Weeks of Rey desperately searching for a way to pay for the impending arrival, she arrives home to find her meagre possessions packed at the door. Locks changed, no goodbye.

 

Hand absentmindedly resting on her blooming belly, desperation sets in as she finds herself having no choice but to sleep in the bus shelter near the edge of town. One of Ben’s henley’s wrapped tightly around her frame, she tries to ignore the bite of the approaching winter wind.

 

She tortures herself by re-reading the love-filled messages of the past from Ben, the solid friendship that had evolved in to love. Picture after picture of them together, happier times remembered and she finds herself staring at his number. Her thumb hovering over the call button.

 

Car headlights blind her, the vehicle slowing to a stop at her side. Fear blooming in her chest as the instinct to protect herself takes hold.

 

“Rey?” A familiar voice instantly relaxes her, the short, formidable form of Leia Organa-Solo appears like a guardian angel before her. The tears flow freely for the first time since Ben left, she feels safe. Bundled in his mother's car, she drives her to the safety of the Solo home, the youngest Solo’s presence easily felt with the quietness of the house.

 

Han doesn’t say a word as Leia guides her into the warmth, not a question uttered as Rey is settled in the unchanged room of his son. His eyebrows raised when he notices the swell of the young girl's stomach, his eyes flickering to his wife in question and his heart sinking with the worried nod she returns.

 

The sheets still smell vaguely like him, nestled under the covers she relaxes and falls into a Ben Solo filled slumber. The sound of her phone buzzing on the cabinet beside her forgotten till morning as she dreams of happier times. When she wakes, she listens to the message he left, the anger and hurt fueling his words.

 

_ Every single night I lose it _

_ I can't even hear the music without you _

_ Ah, yeah, yeah _

_ Try to stop myself from calling _

_ But I really wanna know if you're with someone new _

 

Living at the Solo’s is a dream come true, Leia the surrogate mother that Rey needs as her own child grows inside her. Surrounded by friends and family, she pretends to be happy, the anger and malice in Ben’s words buried deep down where they no longer rip her heart apart, but merely scratch at the surface.

 

Settled in Ben’s room, her heart flutters as the radio switches to a song she hasn’t heard since prom night. The memory of Ben guiding her across the dancefloor has her body swaying along to the beat, remembering how his hands had rested against her hips as she had gazed up at him, hands entwined in the hair at the nape of his neck.

 

A flutter in her stomach freezes her on the spot, her hand tracing the skin as the movement happens again. Rey laughs as tears flow down her face, Ben’s name already on the tip of her tongue before she realises how useless it is to call out to him.

 

Eying her phone, the movement of her unborn child spurs her into action, the call connecting before she can think any better. Her pulse rising as the line connects.

 

“Hello?” A feminine voice chills her to the bone. Rey’s mind creating a torturous scene that charges her bravery to fear.

 

“Phasma, get off my phone!” Hearing his voice in the background, her hand shakes as she mutters that she has the wrong number.

 

Arms protectively around her stomach, sighing as she remembers she was the one that had pushed him away. The tears stuck on her lashes as she reminds herself of one thing, she is strong, she is a survivor.

 

_ Since you been gone _

_ I've been dancing on my own _

_ There's boys up in my zone _

_ But they can't turn me on _

_ 'Cause baby, you're the only one I'm coming for _

_ I can't take no more, no more, no more _

  
  


At every scan she watches her baby grow, refusing to find out the gender, she smiles lovingly at the sonogram with her name at the bottom. Touched when Han asks for a copy of his own.

 

Resolved to live her life, she plans for the future. The crib built by her and Finn one evening as he tries to ignore the lack of change to the rest of her room. Ben Solo’s ghost still living on Rey’s shoulder.

 

“Rey, um, I need you to know something.” The last screw fitted, she turns to her friend. She wore a plaid shirt of Ben’s she had found in the dark depths of his wardrobe. Feeling a weird bond with the piece of fabric at being left behind, she catches her friend's dark gaze.

 

Standing facing one another, he smiles sweetly, she can see the nervous flutter of his pulse in his neck as he gingerly stretches across her stomach. Her body stills when his lips brush against her own.

 

Wrong. Her neck isn’t at the right angle, she should be reaching up higher, the feel of the lips are off, the ones brushing against her’s aren’t soft enough. Her hands gently push him away.

 

“Rey, I know..”

 

“I’m sorry, Finn.” Her stomach rolls, almost as if the baby can sense her distress.

 

“I still love him, I’m sorry.”

 

Her labour begins a few days after, panic filling her lungs as she screams for help from Leia, guiding her in the car she pays no attention when Leia calls Han as they speed towards the hospital.

 

Learnt breathing exercises quickly forgotten as she claws at the door handle, searching for something to hold as her body is wracked with pain. The lights of the approaching hospital are a welcomed sight.

 

Rey is many things, stupid is not one of them. She knew that labour would hurt, she expected the feeling of needing to push a small human out into this world, but she wasn’t expecting the exhausting agony she’s currently experiencing.

 

In her delirium she calls for Ben, gripping to Leia’s hand, she watches the older woman’s eyes so similar to her son fill with tears as her body pulses with another contraction.

 

“I can’t do this without him, Leia, I need him..arghh!” Grip tightening, her head limp against the pillow as she begs “I need Ben..” A natural reprieve allows her to rest, too tired to notice as Leia slips out into the hall.

 

She’s dreaming, too exhausted as her brain has allowed her the beautiful illusion. Watching over her rounded stomach, she gazes at Ben Solo at the foot of her bed, he’s thinner than she remembers, his inky black locks longer than she recalls, staring into the whisky-coloured eyes she has missed so much.

 

A sob escapes as she speaks his name, apologies on her tongue as another contraction hits her, causing her to double over. Sorry’s escape from her lips as she speaks through gritted teeth.

 

“It’s OK,” He’s at her side in a second, the realisation that he isn’t a dream healing her heart in his presence. His hand clasping her own, the velvet sound of his voice calming her instantly

 

“I’m here now.”

 

The guilt she has carried all this time builds up within her chest, desperate to explain her actions “ I didn’t want you to have to choose between us and your life.”

 

“Hey.” Pressing their joined hands to his mouth, his soft lips kiss her knuckles gently “you and this little person here, are my life.” When his hand touches her swollen stomach, Rey no longer fights against the feelings she has tried to bury since he flew to New York. She adores Ben Solo.

 

Another wave of pain hits her, gripping Ben’s hand she swears she can hear the material that makes it up popping against her grip. Her body exhausted, she feels defeat looming as she cries, sagging against the linens beneath her. “I can’t do this on my own, Ben,”

 

“You’re not alone.” Pulling her up, she finds herself against him. His strong chest a welcome heat along her back. Contraction after contraction hit as the grip on his hands never wavers, sweat beading against her forehead, she fights to bring her baby.  _ Their _ baby into this world. Words of love and praise fueling her onwards, hands that she thought she would never feel again pushing the hair away from her sticky skin.

 

Rey Kenobi is a survivor. With the mantra that has kept her going during these long months and with the love of her life supporting her, she feels a fresh wave of determination surge through the tired limbs. Body shuddering, she hears an unfamiliar cry penetrate the room. Bundled into a blanket, the thick mop of black hair was a copy of his father’s own as it spilled from the swaddle. The young doctor hands him over to his parents, welcoming into the world ‘Baby Boy Kenobi’.

 

"No," Rey cuts her off quickly, her eyes meeting Ben's before continuing, "It's Baby Boy Solo."

  
  


_ 'Cause baby, you're the only one I'm coming for _

_ I can't take no more, no more, no more _


	3. Something Just Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three years after Ben's return from New York, living with Rey and his son Ben reflects on the type of father and partner he wants to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the SWOLO exchange, I was given “Okay, so a hot no is: daddy kink, rape, hard kinks, psychological torture, incest... Hmm it's hard to list it all but you get the idea :joy:” for reylotrashpiler aka Hosnianprime!
> 
> Inspired by "Something Just Like This" by Coldplay and The Chainsmokers

_ I've been reading books of old _

_ The legends and the myths _

_ Achilles and his gold _

_ Hercules and his gifts _

_ Spiderman's control _

_ And Batman with his fists _

_ And clearly I don't see myself upon that list _

 

Ben gazes at his young son sleeping soundly in his bed, his eyes watching the slow rise and fall of Kylo’s chest as he dreams peacefully, gripping tightly to the many superhero teddies that protected him in his slumber. The book of heroes and legends perched on Ben’s knee as he sits in the chair by his side, his favourite place in the entire house and simply watches his child. The thick, black, unruly locks like his own, the hazel eyes, a mixture of earthy tones much like Kylo’s mothers. In the quiet of his son’s room, Ben sits and reflects on his life. The love he is surrounded with and how past actions could have caused him to miss out on this great opportunity.

Three years ago, Kylo had come into their lives, Ben had transferred colleges to be closer to home and with the support from his parents he and Rey had moved into a small house not too far from campus. Eventually, Rey had completed her own college course and both of them had managed to eventually live the life they had originally planned.

But the guilt at the missed opportunities still managed to gnaw at his heart. The food cravings that Rey had felt during her pregnancy, the doctor appointments, the flutters as his son had moved, growing within Rey, all milestones missed because he had been quick to believe that she no longer wanted him.

“I can hear you self-deprecating from here,” Rey’s soft voice pulling him from his thoughts. Leaning against the door, hair in a bun with wisps breaking free framing her face, she looked as beautiful as ever to him.

“What have you been reading to our little man tonight?” He shows her the title of the book, placing it gently out of the way as she joins him, sitting in his lap, one of her hands finding its way inside his hair. “Heroes, huh?.”

Sighing at the feel of her fingertips brushing against his scalp, his head falls back against the chair as they sit together, both parents watching their child peacefully sleep. “I missed so much Rey,” voice small, his eyes sting as he watches Kylo.

“I’m sorry Ben, for everything.” His eyes meet hers, his heart sinking at her own watery gaze. He shushes her, kissing her gently before she rests her head against his chest, his heartbeat a soothing sound.

“We can’t keep doing this,” his lips brushing against her forehead, “We need to let the past die, forgive ourselves for his sake.” Nodding, she rises, freckled face unchanged since the day he met her, hazel eyes staring into his own. Her thumbs gently running over the skin on his cheeks.

“I love you.” Her pale pink lips connect to his, her tongue brushing the seam of his lips before he opens, deepening the kiss. A soft groan escapes from his throat as they pull away.

“I know.” Laughing softly, she slaps him on the chest, pulling him with her as they rise to their feet. They gently close the door behind them, the night light casting stars and moons above Kylo’s head.

Kissing her gently, guiding her to the bed, he feels her small fingers working on the buttons on his shirt. Pulling it from his chest, she places open-mouthed kisses against the bare skin beneath, then he pulls at her t-shirt, both of them stifling the giggles that erupt when it snags on one of her ears.

“Shhh,” she whispers, head still half covered by the troublesome fabric. Gently, he frees her, rewarding himself by returning his lips to her own. He feels her fingers working against his belt, his kisses more urgent against the skin connecting her neck and shoulder as he bites back a groan when her hand connects to him.

A shudder ripples through him when she begins to move against him before she suddenly stops, staring cheekily at him. “You’re teasing...” his voice catches when she begins to move her hand against his length again, her smile widening as she watches him lose control.

“I know, ”mimicking his words from earlier, he can’t hold back the laugh as he pulls her hand away, grabbing her and throwing her onto the bed. Her hands clasped over her mouth, her body shaking as she fought against the giggles escaping through her fingers.

“I was going for sexy.” Faking a look of offence, her hand reaching out and running against the skin of his bare bicep.

“Very sexy, baby.” Her tone turning to a purr at his response as her legs tighten against his hips. His hands reach the button of her jeans, eyes flickering to hers in a silent question. The button pops, the teeth of the fly part and Rey can’t help the quiver of anticipation that tightens within her stomach. Pulling the jeans and underwear in one swoop, he stares down at her, his eyes roving every inch of her almost bare body.

Motherhood had changed Rey’s body, gone were the harsh edges that had been born from a rough childhood, constantly toeing the line of hunger in her early years. Her body was now fuller with softer edges, Ben adored Rey in any form, but to see her body evolved through bringing life to his son had to be his personal favourite.

Nestled between her thighs, he gently kisses her forehead, moving down to her cheeks before brushing against her lips. Her hands finding their way into his hair, she pulls him towards her, deepening the kiss as their tongues dance together.

His lips move to her neck, peppering against her pulse point, his hand gently cups her breast, flicking her nipple through the fabric of her bra, he feels it tighten and bud against his thumb.

His hand lightly skimming her curves, he moves lower till he reaches the juncture of her thighs, the animalistic groan that erupts from his chest has Rey almost cumming on the spot.

“You’re so..”

“I know,” she cuts him off, biting her lip as she feels him circle the bundle of nerves just how she likes it. “Solo, if you don’t hurry up, I’m going to scream.”

A scoff of laughter has him moving closer, teeth brushing her jaw. “Maybe that’s what I want.” Dark eyes meet as he moves lower, a whine escaping from Rey as his thumbs rub circles against her hip bones, hot breath against her centre has her back arches from the bed.

Eyes meeting, she watches as he lowers his lips to her folds, feeling his tongue lapping at her clit. Muscles tense, and a wave of electricity jolts through her limbs as he quickly guides her to her peak.

He devours her, worshipping her as only he can. She sees stars when she cums, bright lights as her fingernails cut through the skin of his shoulders. Breathing erratically, Rey feels his cock bump against her. Staring at one another, her mouth opening in a silent gasp when her body is invaded.

The pace is slow, neither in a hurry. Happy to bring each other to climax with the feel of utter devotion. Rey’s muscles tighten as Ben’s tempo picks up, groaning as he feels her clasp around him, milking him, bringing him to his own release.

Sweat covered bodies tightly held together, heartbeats returning to normal. Ben holds Rey tightly against his chest as he feels her warm breath against his chest, his hand running through the chestnut locks he adores so much.

 

_ But she said, where'd you wanna go? _

_ How much you wanna risk? _

_ I'm not looking for somebody _

_ With some superhuman gifts _

_ Some superhero _

_ Some fairytale bliss _

_ Just something I can turn to _

_ Somebody I can kiss _

Staring at the ceiling, sleep eludes him. Rey’s head resting against his chest, the rhythmic feeling of her breath causes goosebumps to stir at the contact. His arm protectively around her, his hand rubs small circles against her bare back.

“My dad was always my hero when I was a kid,” his volume low so as not to disturb Rey, he gives voice to his troublesome thoughts. “What if Kylo never thinks the same of me?”

Rey’s hand moves slowly, her eyes opening, she smiles at Ben, her heart aching at his words. “Ben, Kylo adores you.” He avoids her gaze, a blush creeping up his neck at her hearing his fears.

“What if he finds out I wasn’t there for him in the beginning? What if I disappoint him in the future?”

Sleep forgotten, Rey pulls up to brace herself on her knees, bracketing Ben underneath her as he still avoids her eyes. “That little boy lights up when he sees you, you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“I let you down.” Their eyes meet as he pulls her hair back behind her ear. She huffs, grabbing his hand and kissing the palm.

“What did we talk about earlier, Ben? The past is in the past, me and that little boy don’t need a fictional character or a fairytale because we already have you.”

The love he feels as he stares into the eyes of the only woman he has ever loved, the memory of the day he met her at school, the pretty little dress that she wore to prom. Prom night.

“Marry me?” No second guesses, no need to think. He knows she belongs to him as much as he belongs to her.

Leaning forward, she presses her lips against his. All the love and devotion she feels for this man underneath her expressed with her mouth. Pulling away, she smiles as she looks deep into his eyes. “Yes, I’ll marry you, Ben Solo.”

_ I've been reading books of old _

_ The legends and the myths _

_ The testaments they told _

_ The moon and its eclipse _

_ And Superman unrolls _

_ A suit before he lifts _

_ But I'm not the kind of person that it fits _

He can feel his heartbeat in his ears, the way his hands shake as he tries to straighten his tie. The curse escaping as his father enters the small room at the side of the church.

Decked out in a dark suit, Han Solo looks every bit the handsome man of his youth that Ben had grown up hearing about. Cleanly shaven, every hair in place, his father smiles kindly as he comes to his rescue helping with the troublesome tie.

“I was just as nervous when I married your mother.” Their eyes meet for a moment, Ben’s flicking nervously to the floor-length mirror at his reflection, clean shaven, his shoulder-length hair brushed back from his face. The black suit and crisp, white shirt reminding him of the last time he had dressed up this fancy, the memory of prom replaying through his mind.

Clearing his throat to catch his attention, his father suddenly looking nervous as he holds a small box in his hand. Handing it over, Ben opens the gift. A lump in his throat building as he stares down at the jewellery he has seen many times.

“My lucky cufflinks.” Taking them from Ben, Han gently places them on his son’s cuffs. “I wore them the night I asked your mother to go out with me, the day I proposed and the day she agreed to marry me.”

His hand gently pats his son on the shoulder, looking at him at eye level, the distant memory of when his little boy used to sit upon his shoulders. “You’ve done me proud kid." Straightening up, he presses another soft pat against Ben’s shoulder.

“Rey asked me to pass this on, it’s a gift that Kylo made for you.” Pulling out a piece of paper from his jacket pocket, he smiles as he moves to the door.

The paper unfolds, revealing a three-year-old Kylo Ren Solo masterpiece, a figure with long black hair, a broad upper body covered with a bright red B across his chest and two arms stretched out above his head. The words ‘my hero’ written in Rey’s handwriting and the clear attempt of ‘daddy’ written by his son, two smaller figures stand below identified as Kylo and Mummy.

The lump in Ben’s throat expands as he meets his father's glassy eyes, tucking the picture in his jacket pocket, his father opening the door. “Now it's about time that girl’s last name became Solo don't you think?”

“Yeah dad, I do.”

  
  


_ Where'd you wanna go? _

_ How much you wanna risk? _

_ I'm not looking for somebody _

_ With some superhuman gifts _

_ Some superhero _

_ Some fairytale bliss _

_ Just something I can turn to _

_ Somebody I can kiss _

_ I want something just like this _

Kylo’s little hand grips Rey’s as they stand under the archway of the church, dressed in white silk and delicate lace, her heart feels ready to burst from her chest. Her little boy stares at her, eyes very much like her own, his unruly ebony locks like his fathers. Dressed in a small version of his father’s suit, she squeezes his fingers gently as the music begins to play.

Friends and Ben’s family rise as the doors open, the small church decorated with crisp, white roses and other flowers, a floral imitation of the love that Ben and Rey share for each other.

Keeping in time with her son's steps, she stares ahead. She misses the sounds of the people seeing Kylo walk his mother down the aisle, misses the tears falling from Leia’s face and the smile from Han as he stands beside Ben.

Ben. The only thing she sees, the memory of the gangly boy who she met in science class, the young man who stole her heart and flew away with it to New York City. The man who returned and devoted his life to her and their son. Ben.

Standing at the altar, in front of her friends and family, one of her hand clasped in her husband’s, the other holding her son’s, Ben Solo holding on to the other.

A perfect family.

_ Oh, I want something just like this _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :)


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